I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did it anyway since there’s no difference between yes and no and that’s the story of how I gave someone a bloody nose
babies cry because they know how much debt they’re going to be in once they graduate from college
TOP 5 RIKER’S BUTT MOMENTS (according to tumblr user lesliecrusher)
featuring BONUS CROTCH SHOT
Me: It premiered on my birthday.
Heather :O the universe is telling you something!
Me: I AM A MEMBER OF STARFLEET STUCK IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!!
Heather: OH MY GOD THIS IS KINDA LIKE THE DREAM CAPTAIN SISKO HAD.
*I have never seen DS9, so Heather sent me the wiki summary*
ME: Dr. Bashir has my last name in the alternate universe!!
Me: I am becoming self aware!
Heather: What color shirt are you wearing?
Me: Yellow. O.O
walk into the club like never mind lets go home and watch Star Trek
no but women are so badass okay
because there will inevitably come a point in every woman’s life where she wakes up in a pool of her own blood and her reaction will be dammit now i have to do laundry
that is some suave superhero shit and you won’t ever be able to convince me otherwise
do you ever just feel so awkward when you buy something and pay in cash and the cashier gives you the change back but you take a few seconds to put the money in your wallet and you can feel the world judging you from afar
I’m glad it isn’t just me
I’m a cashier and let me tell you that nobody cares and nobody is judging you, I love you.
Can you be my cashier forever
‘watch star trek’ they said. ‘it’s a fun show about space’ they said
I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS
Me: Picard gets seduced with archeology a lot
Phisigalicious: Maybe he’s sapiosexual.